Grace
by KungFu Jedi
Summary: All he ever really wanted, all he had ever done, was for him. And now, he will do it again. Only this time, he won't fail. If he does, it will be because he wasn't strong enough, it will be because he didn't love enough. He won't fail.


Disclaimer: Do I own Star Wars? If I owned Star Wars, I would have a time machine, and George would be working in a junkshop in some remote village in Africa and Anakin would still be alive.

The turbo lift doors opened with a looming hiss. It may have as well the door to hell.

Luke's mind felt strangely numb. He had always feared this, always expected it, but he could never bring himself to actually believe that it would happen. It couldn't end like this! It couldn't! He knew it couldn't! He hadn't come here to play to the emperor's sadistic whims. He had come here to wrench his father out of the psychopath's clutches. Deep down, he knew that only his father could make that choice, but he would do everything in his power to make sure that he did. He had to, or else Luke's very life would have been for nothing. He would be an empty shell.

He was vaguely aware of the evil genius murmuring incoherent words. They meant nothing. Their very meaning escaped him before the sounds could reach his ears. He could only focus blindly on the waves of confusion that his father was trying so desperately to hide from him. Waves of conflict, waves of pain, waves of anguish. His father didn't want this. He had never wanted this. With a last attempt to find the source of his father's conflict, he burrowed into the feelings, wishing they would betray themselves to his mind. What he found astounded him and broke him, making his mind shattered at the thoughts he uncovered, the memories and feelings he was trying so hard to keep from his son. He thought the only way he could ever keep his son safe was to make him join with him, so none would kill him, that the only way his son would ever be with him was … like this.

'_You're wrong,' he thought passionately. 'It was never meant to be this way. I'd be with you if only you would give me cause to.' You only have to reach out, just a little bit and I would be with you. Right here, right now, if you asked, if you came to me, I would be with you… _

The Emperor's words jerked him back to the setting. "…are now mine," _Who? What? Him?_ It didn't matter. When would anything ever matter?

_'Help me… please… help me…' _he thought.

And then, he saw her. He wasn't aware of the Emperor talking, looking at him with malicious glee; it all faded away and he stared past it, to the beautiful woman standing next to the throne, or rather, where the throne would be. He knew who she was. He felt it. He knew. His blood seemed to congeal and his hands throbbed. She stared at him with compassion. Tears trickled down her smooth, ethereal cheeks, making her face glow with sorrow.

'_Oh, Luke…' _she whispered, her eyes portraying the deepest pain, a pain that echoed through his entire soul, making his heart beat furiously as if straining to leap out of his chest and meet her.

'_Ani…' _her eyes darted to Vader, and Luke felt a smile flicker across his face in recognition._ 'Don't do this… please… come back… I love you…' _he felt the heartfelt compassion and plea in her words and let them mingle with his own thoughts, binding it together, making his intent stronger._  
_

He didn't know if his father could see her or not.

That's when it hit him. A wave of astonishment, heartbreak and determination. The answer to this was here, right here… her lovely image faded slowly, leaving Luke with his decision.

He was on the verge of losing his humanity. And if he didn't do something now, he would be lost forever. He could do it. He would. For his father. for both of them. She would help him. Nothing would restrain them. He had to try. One last time._  
_

'_Once more, just once more… I have to try. I will, I will, I will, this can't happen." _

He wrapped his love around his father, tightening the mental shield, ripping Palpatine's influence from his mind. He found the thread that bound their mind and mentally tested its extremely fragile texture. He wrapped the love around him, separating them from reality in a fierce last attempt in brutal need.

He opened his eyes. They were standing in tall grass, seemingly in a meadow. The sky was overcast, dark, with no sun. There were dark clouds behind his father, swarming, as if straining to get closer. He could feel their subtle pull, driving to get near them. Luke looked up into the face a startlingly handsome man. His features were well carved, the cheekbones more defined than his own. And the eyes, which had been closed, opened to look at him with a sigh that seemed exasperated. But not angry. He dropped his head, not wanting to look him in the face.

His son wasn't paying attention. In fact, he wouldn't have been surprised if he hadn't heard a word. And surprisingly, he felt a tiny sliver of gladness at the thought.

'_You can't hide forever, Luke,' _he thought. The boy was stalling and was running out of ways to do effectively. The longer he waited, the harder it was for him to watch his son, knowing Sidious and his plans. It would be so hard, the harder for the both of them the longer Luke chose to wait. Was he really that frightened? A quick skim over the boy's mind revealed… denial. He was pretending this wasn't happening. Was his fear so great as that? No, there was something else, something… he shrank back at the numbness of the boy's mind, repressing the irresistible urge to touch him, reach out and soothe the confused mind. He quickly slammed up his mental shields when he felt his son reach into his mind, searching... his was looking for something… trying to feel the conflict He had been trying to hard to vanquish, the one he knew that Luke would find, the one he was trying so fervently to keep from him… the boy burrowed deeper in desperation, as Vader tried to pull away, but the stubborn child held on, determined to find what didn't want to be found.

And find it he did.

He had been so focused on the mental exchange; he didn't even hear Palpatine when he finished speaking. He looked up, at the same time Luke did. The Emperor seemed unaware of the mental exchange. Did Palatine know what had flowed between them? Surely he must have an idea. Or was he too wrapped up in his anticipation to realize what had just transpired? Was he really that arrogant as to be so blind? Did he even notice that Luke was nearly oblivious to his presence? A thousand questions darted through his mind at once. He glanced over at Luke, who seemed to be staring beyond the despot, who didn't even notice his complete lack of attention. No, Luke was definitely staring at something. He gazed beyond as if in a trance. His lips barely moved, and Vader glanced the direction he seemed to be staring, trying to see whatever it was that had captured his son's rapt attention. Nothing. There was nothing. Yet Luke's thoughts had taken a very direct turn… they were fixed on that spot.

'_Ani…' _

He froze. Luke wouldn't know that name. He couldn't. And the voice… there was only one who would use that… it was a whisper, brief, and it fled his mind as soon as he captured it. And he knew who Luke was staring at. Or was.

Suddenly, he felt something powerful begin to fill him. It was soft and warm and it took root deep within his mind, lifting him, dragging him away… He felt Luke's desperation as he felt the cord-like thread that bound him to Sidious. Feeling its thickness, weakening. What in the… what was he doing? He saw stars. Hundreds. Millions. Trillions. The warmth wrapped around his whole being, thrusting his soul out into the stars. He felt like he was drowning and could no longer see Palpatine. He shut his eyes as the acceleration continued briefly. Then he felt normal. Well, almost.

Too normal.

He felt… perfect… it was so warm… so soft… a familiar voice whispered into his mind and he opened his eyes.

They were definitely not in the throne room.

The scene was achingly familiar. The meadows too green... the colors too rich, the sky so... the clouds… were never that dark.

This had to be a vision, a hallucination of his desperate confused thoughts. He looked down at the body he inhabited. He had heard of the force being used in this way… but he had never imagined that Luke had the ability… would have…

_Luke…_

"_It's not too late, even now," _

He looked up. The boy was staring at the ground, not daring to meet his father's eyes. He knew. He knew what he had done. He sighed. The boy was stalling. Why? Couldn't he see the end was inevitable? He took a step toward him, staring at the blonde head. It occurred to him that he had never seen his son. Ever. He was suddenly filled why an irrepressible urge to Know him. To see his face, to look into his eyes and see his son. Really see him.

_"Luke," he said softly, fervently demanding him to look up. _

'_Let me see you let me see you…' _The boy dared to look up, as if facing a condemnation.

All previous thoughts abandoned his mind. Force. He had never seen such beautiful eyes. There had never been so much concealed in them. Blue, like his own, so full of pain, so full of longing, of sorrow, of… love.

_"Why?" _

Why did you do it? Why do you do this? Why do you wait? Why are your eyes the way they are? Why do you love something that you know can never— what, never love him? He loved his son. He loved him the moment he had heard his name. He just never acknowledged it. If he had, he wouldn't have waited this long.

"I waited for you," the young voice said hoarsely._ 'This-this doesn't have to end like this. It was never meant to end… like this. Why are you doing this? I don't understand. I –I would have… have…' come to you, _he wanted to say. But he couldn't. The words wouldn't come out. They struggled against his throat, trapped against their own will. He strained to will them into existence, but his voice wouldn't obey. It was as if his every cell had ceased to function as he fixed his eyes fully on the human face of his father.

His father.

A face he would no doubt know if it had not been for the weakness of one man, and the deceit of another.

A face he desperately wanted to know, even now.

The eyes transfixed him, so deep they were, so full of darkness... so full of confusion, of hopelessness, so full of longing... so full of everything that he was trying to voice. They were one, even know. So why couldn't his father see that?

_I can give you everything you are searching for, everything you wanted, everything you lost... you only have to accept that I can, and I will give it to you._

The boy looked like he was on the verge of crying.

He. Had. Made. Him. Cry. It wasn't right! Why did Luke have to do this? Why did he have to make him lose control? Why did he always have to ruin his sense of survival? Why did the burning desire pulse inside him so strongly now? Having his son by his side was the only thing that mattered to him. He had nothing left to live for... only this. Only him. Why couldn't the boy see this was the only way for them to be together?

'_I don't want that. I want you.' _

Was it?

Because if it wasn't, all that he had lived for, all his dreams, all his desires, all his thoughts and his struggles, all would have been for nothing.

Because he wouldn't be able to live with himself if that was the case. It hurt too much to think otherwise.

He dared to step closer.

_'Why?'_

_"WHY?"_

The boy shrank from him, blinking and darting his head away.

_He thought… he actually thought… he wouldn't… no he would never… I wouldn't, I—you wouldn't think I would hurt you... do you...?_

His hand came up again in a much more… endearing gesture.

'_What do you want from me? You're just denying the inevitable! You know that! Why?'_

'_I can't lose you,' _came the soft reply. Almost a plea. An inaudible cry_._

'_Lose me?'_

_What would be so horrible about that? He wondered idly, sarcastically._

'_I lost you once… please don't make me lose you again,' _he pleaded.

'_Luke, I-' _The boy was crying now, staring at the ground, looking as if he wished it would swallow him. He worked his way into his son's mind, meeting no resistance. He saw it. The nightmares that had plagued him, so like his own, the desperation, the denial, the hope, the love, the desperation to save him, to not lose what had ever been his… because he was so close to having what he had longed for all his life… someone to love… to care for.. he had been forever denied that and he was the only one he could relate with, share his pain, his joy, his sorrow, his love—

Vader pulled away, horrified and shocked.

_'Oh, Force. He wanted me. He wanted… me?'_

All this time, he thought that he had been the only one wanting something. Wanting his son... what he had seen as rightfully his... to fill what he had lost. He thought Luke had wanted revenge after... Anything else. But not this. Never this. Because if this was true, than… than everything he lived for… everything he hoped for was… gone. It was… life was… gone…

He grabbed Luke's shoulders, furiously ripping out of his mind, angry that his life had been torn away from him in a single thought. 'But was it ever really your life?' a quiet voice reminded him.

"You Have No Reason To Love Me!" he shouted "Why Now? Why did you think I would answer You?"

"_WHY?"_

A powerful current swept through him like a tide, igniting every cell in his body, awakening him to the fact of what he had just done.

Luke shrank even further from him if that was possible, his eyes stung Vader with a pain so deep he thought he was going to drown in it.

He felt an irrepressible wave of shame. A cold feeling pierced him and he slowly let his hands drop from the shoulders. He felt even colder as he turned away.

Strangely, he didn't pull away when he felt warm hands hesitantly touch his back. It felt like water on scorching sand.

_'I don't deserve your love,' _he whispered silently, shamefully._ 'There are others who need you,'_

_'Why would you reject it?' _

_'I wouldn't deny you... I don't deserve you.'_

_'I want to love you. I need to, I need you, please, let me love you...I've wanted you for so long, and you destroyed me. I needed to love you because if I didn't, I would destroy myself. I would destroy you! My father! I never wanted that. all I wanted was you, there beside me, protecting me...I wanted the same thing you did. ' _He reached up and took his father's face. A face that he had only seen in his dreams. A face that had gone pale at his words.

_"I love you," _he whispered.

And in that moment, Anakin knew, he knew that he would never ever be able to watch Palpatine destroy this, his angel... Force, even the image of palpatine near the boy made him sick. He felt the boys hand on his face, feeling for him desperately, needing to know he was there. Soft fingers caressed his face and he reached for the bond that wound around them, tangible, translucent, loving ... and nearly gasped at the sheer magnitude of the wave of tender thoughts that were enveloping him in a painful surge of cleansing need. He was shocked at the powerful brutal force that rose within him in response, cascading out of him in a reaction that was surprising to them both. He reached for the boy with a sharpness that could only be explained by necessity, and Luke wasted no time returning the embrace from his father, who was promptly crushing him. Not that Luke cared. He merely rested his head on the warm, broad chest, feeling for the first time in his life, that he was truly alive.

_Whoa. _

_I did _Not_ just do that. _

_Anakin did _not_ just do that. _

_but..._

_...what if he did?_

_:):) If you're nice, maybe I will tell you what happens. What _are_ they going to do anyway?_


End file.
